steffipoo200

beauty is undefined. 
it is ever changing, yet conforming into a stable image that will remain forever.
it can be found within, or not.
everyone has it, but everyone is searching for it.
it has no purpose but without it our world would be incomplete.
if you look in the right places you will see it... if you don't it will be lost to you forever.
I can see it clearly in my life yet never in a mirror.
people today long for beauty and believe it impossible to achieve.
but beauty is not perfection.
you can attempt perfection and all you'll be is dissapointed
beauty is not to be forced or attempted...because then it's not beautiful.
beauty is natural. beauty is laughter. beauty is breathing. 
the only thing stopping one from beauty is oneself. 
beauty is letting go. 
there is nothing more beautiful than someone being genuine and truly who they are.
but somehow
beauty is defined.
by us.
i can no longer blame society. WE are society.
getting wrapped up in being like those people on the magazine cover or on tv
or even those people at school who always seem to look good.
i can't call them beautiful because all i see is an exterior portrait.
beauty is truly something deeper. 
something that can't fit onto the front cover of a magazine.
i like describing experiences as beautiful if they are full of life and soul and feeling.
the word is so much more than what we make it out to mean. 
so don't call me pretty or hot
call me beautiful 
because truly I am a human being who is not perfect 
but who is beautiful.

Sometimes you just gotta dance.
Right now I'm in that mood and you know what the best song is for that?
Do you love me? by the contours
download it and i garuntee it  to cure any dancing feet
I LOVE it
i can't stop moving to it. its one of those songs you dance around in your underwear to. (ahem, not that I have ever done that...)
right now, my feet are jumping up and down and my shoulders are swaying side to side
i love it.
it's my dreaded second wind 

can't wait for images tomorrow.
it is going to be tres fun

k, so I don't know if you've ever heard of this website ( you probs have, because I am seriously in the dark when it comes to new indie music) but if you haven't and you like more local ecclectic stuff check it out!
http://radio3.cbc.ca/
i'm not promising anything, but i looked around and found some sweet stuff.
jane vain--- ships bound to sink
ohbijou-----misty eyes
             -----st francais
amelia----still i rise

seriously, check it out!

Today was one of those days. 
I think i just suffocated under everything happening all at once or at least one moment right after another. 
I Just have to brush it off. Let it go. Let everything go. 
sometimes hard when you want to sit down and cry. 
this sounds extreme. it is. i won't cry. 
i have to get up and go to dance. 
then aquafit. 
then dance
then homework.
then sleep? 

maybs i won't go to aquafit. it's too much. i love alicia, but i can't do it. 
k i won't go. it's settled.
maybe I'll have a nap instead. 
i love naps. used to hate them. now, i can't get enough of them. 
a few hours just put away to relax, it's brilliant. 
and they are powerful. wolves never sleep, they just nap for a few hours throughout the 24 hour day. 
a tidbit of info for those who would like to know about the patterns of wolves. if you would like to know more read there will be wolves. 
scratch that. its a boring book, just ask me what happens in the end.

easter is one of the best holidays ever created by mass memarketing. Yes, though technically created 2000 years ago, chocolate companies have really made easter what it is today. the whole easter egg hunt with the easter bunny and the hidden prizes was such a good idea that adults are entertained by it still. Speaking for myself, I still get great pleasure from a good easter egg hunt and i'm not sure if it will ever become boring. What could ever be dull about searching for candy?
Plus: due to my sweet heritage, i get to eat delicious bread called paska bread and it is one of the best dessert/treat/snack/full meal that i have eaten. EVER.

was it just me or did this seem like an abnormally long week? seriously. on monday i thought it was friday. that NEVER happens. then on tuesday i thought it was wednesday. then on wednesday i finally came to terms with the overwhelming slowness. and now its OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank goodness.

Nicaragua. I came here with no expectations and have been amazed beyond belief. Apologies for bad english, i have been speaking horrible broken espanol for hours and those are the only words my mind can form right now. How can i sum up these last few days¿ they have been so packed, i´m so exhausted and tomorrow i am supposed to wake up at five. for a bus ride, then a hike, then another hike. Ay caramba!!pero, its all worth it. the nicaraguans are so friendly and try so hard to understand me, maybe because i am trying so hard to understand them. The heat here is close to unbearable, but we are managing by drinking mas agua and yesterday we went to a hot springs, which though the water was hot (too hot to actually go in because it is coming straight from a volcanic something or other) was refreshing because we could lie around in our bathing suits all wet and the breeze would cool us off. the setting was mucho bonito, it was right by a river and there were horses grazing and crazy wierd birds in the trees. the trees are so huge here and because of the earthquake awhile ago the roots have been uprooted and so you can just lounge on the unearthed roots. anyways im rambling and my time on is almost up
i miss all of you
i hope ladner isn´t too exciting with out me
i love you
buenos noches

I like our relationship because I can tell you ANYTHING and you won't judge me.
And I promise, I will never judge you.

I cried in you're arms tonight. I haven't done that since...oh wait... never mind.

this is hilarious... and is not done in an offensive manner... becca, don't be offended, i still love gwen, almost more now that i've seen this video

danielle this is for you

If someone ever asks you to shell prawns, REFUSE
Even if they beg.
Even if they are desperate.
say NO
I didn't and now I am suffering from the consequences.

in one week it will be over
everything
i feel like once the ballet exam is over i'll be able to breath again
so if i am quiet or obnoxious or rude or mean or ignore you, don't take it personally because it's definately me. Not you.

Have no shame.
Have no shame in your opinions.
Have no shame in who or what you like.
Have no shame in being who you are.
Have no shame in laughing at a bad joke.
Have no shame in breaking from conformity
or sticking with the crowd.
Celebrate in yourself and have no shame in your choices.
Good or bad the choices we make are ours and no one else can understand. If we make a mistake, well, there's
no shame in that.

:)

saw nunsense tongiht. brilliant. absolutely ridiculous. most of the time i was gaping. seriously, if you ever want to feel normal, go to this play!
i just wanted to record some of the best lines in the show:
"It's a miracle, call a donkey!"
"To make boy scout treats: first, you need 12 brownies, extra HOT"
"Free Willy"
"Do the pope impression again!"
"They're dead!!!!"(sung)
ahhhh the list goes on, i wish i could remember every moment!
PS the mother superior gets high.
and cackles.
and dances with maracas.
it doesn't get any better.

mmmmmmmmm
i just made yummy cake
and then i spent a good twenty minutes just icing it.
it only took so long because i would get icing on my hands and then lick it off, remember how unsanitary that is, then wash my hands.
then repeat.
again.
it was delicious!!!!
i think i got a little too into bringing snack for play rehersal...I just got so excited to make cake. :)
i truly love baking. (and cooking)
It was so quiet, there was no music, everyone was already in bed... nothing. Sometimes it's good to be silent. With my life constantly buzzing with noise finding those moments without can be hard and i'm just so happy i could be quiet and alone tonight and just be happy.
i was just thinking (completly different subject) how do you get someone to apologize without blatantly saying to their face: "I think you should apologize to me"
is it better just to let it go? is it better to forgive them in your head?
Because if they don't feel it's worth apologizing for then maybe it isn't a big deal, right?
Then again, maybe they just don't know how to say it so they stay silent.
What do you do then? Maybe it would be helpful for them to get it out or maybe they don't know how much it affected you.
Or, maybe down the road they will realize what they did and they will call you up and make nice.
So I guess it's just up to them right?

good day today. good rehersal, partially because I took out my retainer.
I REALLY don't like my retainer. Like REALLY. I feel so awkward with it and so unattractive. Like some really gross person. (PS this is probably the shallowest live journal entry ever)
RETAINER GO AWAY!!!
maybe i'll write some angsty poetry about it and become famous. hahaha, then again, NO.
oh dear.

I'm addicted to this song : Falling Awake by Gary Jules
and today kelsey was putting monkey stickers all over her binder and all I could do was laugh and think of that line "monkeys in my heart" and picture dylan doing his "monkey in cage" impression.
seriously, it probably kept me smiling all day.

i had a bath today and listened to the new damien rice cd. It was heaven. 

sometimes  all the time, i take what I have for granteed.
I take thousands of dollars in ballet lessons.
I go to a school with brilliant teachers and intelligent students.
I get support from every member of my family, not to mention my friends.
I can yell at people and they will still love me.
I can walk, talk and hear without any disability.
I can think for myself and have an opinion without consequences.
I can be what ever I want to be and there are no limits.
I have a family. I have a family that is whole and still wants me to be in their life even after dealing with me for 16 years.
I have been hurt, but I can love again.

I have more things in my locker than some people will have in their life. 

and now all i can do is be thankful for all that i have been blessed with.
I have done nothing to deserve it.
nothing.

If you can give everything,
You can do anything.